"Who comforts you?"
This was written for me and sent to me from my beautiful mother on 3/5/06. She told me that she had written the question, "who comforts me", and for the longest time the answer to her question was left blank until now.
I keep the one she sent to me in my bag and carry it with me each and everyday. And when I was in Florida last week I had asked her if she had an empty notebook or journal that I could write in and she gave me the very book that held these precious words written for me. I adore my mother, she is the sweetest person I have ever meant and the love I have for her is like no other.
Everyday I am working on being truly happy, so that she in turn can be. That is my wish, my dream.
"Who comforts you?"
Who comforts you my child when the battlefield clears and when your hope is shattered once again.
When the love for your child collides with your pain and frustration and exhaustion sets in.
Others can walk away, but not you. Others receive and give comfort to each other in order to restore a peaceful space for themselves, they fall asleep to dream once again and feel secure and happy with their existance.
But who comforts you, my child?
Who mends your heart, holds you tight and stops your pounding heart and soothes your broken spirit?
You must hide from those who you should be able to run to. You take on the guilt of the faults and illnesses of those you love.
Don't be ashamed for you have done your best, and some things are beyond your control. My heart aches for my child and for the child she brought into this world alone.
I wish I were there to comfort you, to hold you and help ease your pain.
I wish I could wave a magic wand and bring happiness and peace to you and your children.
But today I came to a happy reality. Your hope, your solace and peace has a name and it is Michael.
Michael gives you his love, his compassion and shares his journey through life with you. His shared experience are real, pure and filled with enthusiasm. He tells you how wonderful you are, what a great cook you are, how much he loves you, and that you are the best mother anyone could ever have. He walks you through his life as a child and fills your life with love and creativity and wonder. He shares his childhood with you and in his heart, he must know that you never had a chance to experience his joy and wonder.
He is the one I have been praying for to hold you, heal your pain and make you feel as beautiful as you are.
Michael, you are the answers to my prayers. Thank you for showing my child how truly wonderful she is. Although you are a child yourself, you have the wisdom and a beautiful heart to share your true love and happiness with my child.
I love you Nana.