| Good Morning. I am trying really hard to avoid those who have caused me pain, but in order to do that I have to change who I am and after almost 39 years it is probably the hardest thing I have ever had to do. Why is it that I feel so much for others? My heart aches for the ones who have hurt me, I still worry about their feelings when they have not thought about mine. How do you change the way you have always been? I never thought that indifference would be so hard, although I feel better staying away and not putting myself in the situation of getting hurt myself, I am still somewhat consumed with how they feel and if I am hurting them in anyway. What makes me think that they even care, when they have given me every reason to believe that they feel nothing for me? Although I know I have made the right choice for me for once and feel better that I don't have to hear the negativity and know that my back will not be stabbed when I turn around, I still am haunted everyday by thinking that they themselves may be hurt. I would never intentionally hurt anyone and truly have deep love and care for every human being. I can't help to think that those who have done the hurting have a sickness and they have no control over what they say and how they act. I must have pity, it makes me sad. So is it better to speak to them and think that way instead of ignoring and avoiding them? Would I be setting myself up for more pain? How do you separate your feelings and change who you are to protect your well being without hurting others? I hate the drama and only want to be myself, is it possible anymore in this world? The saga continues..... Daisy |