Indifference

That is where I am at in my life right now. They say that "Love" and "Hate" take up a lot of energy, but when you reach "indifference" your positive energy comes back and the stress gone. When you finally stop caring you have reached indifference sad, but true. Why does it have to be like this? I will tell you, people today are out for themselves; they have no idea what "Friendship" is all about. What the true meaning of "Love" is or how to show it. Not everyone, because I myself consider myself very lucky to have the friends and family that I have, that's why I protect them with my entire heart and soul. But there are many that are in my life and will remain in my life because of my precious son that I have treated with nothing but respect and love to have in one day force me to stop caring.

This family really doesn't deserve me. I have tried in every way I know how to keep the peace between us for the sake of my beautiful baby, but I can only take so much. I will continue to respect them, but have lost all faith in their character and have finally seen them for who they really are, selfish, self centered, back stabbing, heartless people. To sit in my house and openly talk about me and say they didn't when I myself sat there and listened, not ease dropping because she was very loud and I not stupid to read between the lines and smart enough to take a one sided conversation and know exactly that it was me that she was talking about, to have them be as stupid as to let the answering machine record their conversation and my daughter come and tell me that she hears them speaking about me, to deny it and be confronted, to deny it again and have the proof; for them to avoid me because they know they made a huge mistake. I have not only reached that level of indifference, but have not allowed anyone in the past few days take advantage of me and my huge heart, disrespect me as they always have or treat me as if I didn't exist unless of course they wanted something then I was the best thing since apple pie! To think this was all over something that was given to me by a friend (which is also family) and because the other one didn't get anything she bashed me, IN MY HOUSE! I have done everything for this person, she lives in my house, has my truck because she didn't have one, every time I walk out the door she gets something! I do and do and do and this is what I get. NO MORE! I have never been a bitch unless I had too, I try to be the best person I know how to be and if I have to say so myself I am one hell of a friend, daughter and mother! I will not let anyone treat me this way again. I would rather be alone then to go through this on a daily basis. They can take their negativity and back stabbing some where else, I am so much better without them, they only want to bring me down and I am unstoppable! Misery loves company, and I refuse to be brought down to their level!

Indifference may be sad to most, but in my case it is survival.