Good Morning. The Moron speaks again. That would be me. I don't understand why people in an argument need to call names. Didn't that go out with 3rd grade? You will rarely ever hear me call people a name or put them down, unless you push me near the edge or over it and it takes me a lot! I guess I am different then most, another thing that makes me special! What bothers me the most is how trivial it was, and that I was only looking out for my kids again. It was sooooo stupid that I won't even repeat it because MOST people would be like "Are you serious?" So uncalled for. Don't know how much more I can take. Almost 39 and I deserve to be happy, safe and not be verbally attacked on a daily basis. Since yesterday when this happened I swear the way he called me a Moron and the fact that he did is still bothering me, maybe because I know that it is how he looks at me? I know that I am far from a Moron, not even close; but it hurts. I guess I have to consider the source. Some people feel the need to cut deep, to make themselves feel better. A shame, really. I play fair and when I HAVE too argue, try and fight fair. I don't say things that I can't take back, I am no Angel and have been pushed to say things that I regret to this day, but I APOLOGIZE! And like I said before, it was so trivial. This isn't working, the co-existing thing. My main fear right now and most of my life is that I am going to grow old alone, no one to love and be loved by. What happens when I stand before God himself and he says to me "Teri, I gave you a heart and soul filled with the most amazing love and passion, my gift too you, why is it that you never had a soul mate to share it with?" What am I going to say? "Sorry God, but no one could see how beautiful I am inside!" That would be a lie, because I have had a few men that to this day would marry me, but I choose a man that I knew from the beginning could never love me, a glutton for punishment. Now and for the last year or more we are living together and we are so both very unhappy and there really is nothing there, but are both good parents and want our son too be happy, but with me I truly believe our baby needs to see us both happy and that is not being together. He is smart, and knows why mommy sleeps in her own room, he See's with my eyes. I know he has my heart, am I destroying it for true love someday? So sad. Breasts seem so trivial right now, what was I thinking? (My last entry) Need coffee. Daisy |