Wednesday, December 13, 2006
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link | posted by daisydot at 3:37 AM
2 Comments:
2 Comments:
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had this to say:
Merry Christmas Sweetpea!
I'm doing what you said and taking some time for ME- and it's good.
I miss you and as much as I love this time of year, I can't wait for it to be over already so I can have my head on straight! My thoughts are all over the place right now...- December 21, 2006 9:50 AM
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daisydot had this to say:
I am very proud of you for walking away from the computer! You need time for you and yours! Have fun in Florida, need to plan a "Girls" weekend together at the house! Talked to Jessie and getting it together, hope you will be able to make it. Love you sweetie pie!!
- January 07, 2007 6:37 AM
| Happy Holidays Everyone! I truly don't like this color, although many people said during Halloween that I looked great as a Devil in red. Just trying to be festive. lmao I just wanted those of you that love and care for me to know that I am doing great and that I am on my way to a better future and that my attitude on life and love has changed, but I am still me; inside. I find myself very alone, but for the first time I am okay with it! I no longer need people around me that only want to bring me down, I am surrounding myself with positive people and positive things. And under the many situations that arise looking for the little bit of positiveness within it. Was that a word? Do I understand some that I feel have abandoned me, No; but still believe everyday that "Everything happens for a reason!" And if it were meant to be, that it will be; no matter what obstacles that come my way or people who are jealous and want company in their misery. I am now feeling really bad for those that want to hurt me and those I love because they themselves are so unhappy. I don't understand, nor ever will why it is this world is falling apart before my eyes; why people feel the need to go out of their way to hurt others! I am truly living each day for my children, mother, good friends, family and self. I try hard not to burden those that I adore with my fear and small problems and pain, but sometimes it is hard because I am not perfect and sometimes need to vent and I feel so bad because my best friend happens to be my mother and I hurt her with my life! When I call her I don't mean to let go and say everything, but it is hard because she is the only one I can truly talk to! I am sorry Mommy and promise that I will try harder to not hurt you anymore, I appreciate you being there for me and your great advice, but all I want is for you to be happy and I feel that sometimes I bring you down or hurt you and I know you know that it is not intentionally, but wrong! Please forgive me Mommy! I love, miss and adore you so much! All I truly want is happiness for those I love most and strive everyday to add to their happiness, even it is just a compliment, kind words or small gift from the heart, although some are really hard to please because of their own pain and struggles in life, which I understand! Everyone has pain in some form and it has always hurt me to know this, but I have also come to believe and know throughout my journey that I alone can not save them and the pain of the world. I wish I was Super Women, had powers to take away the suffering of those around me and the beautiful children with no one to love and nurture them, but unfortunately I am only one person with one huge heart and through my own experiences have come to the realization that besides those little ones people make their own decisions and choices and I can't save them or want to try and change them, only they can help themselves; all I can do is be there if they fall to pick them up. Everyone needs to make their own mistakes and God knows I have made mine! The one thing I remember my Mom saying to me is "To listen to your gut feelings" when she said this to me I have no idea, but as always she was right! I now listen to it like no other! It is such a powerful tool. It has not taken me in the wrong direction once, but steered me to the right decisions and path. I am so lucky to have a mother like mine, she is my treasure! If I had only listened to her, even just a few times instead of thinking I knew it all I would not have been in half the situations I was in, I would have been saved from the pain in my heart I endured! Today I always listen and follow what she says, even if it sounds off the wall. I wish for my own daughter that she would just listen once in a while, I want to save her the pain and struggles that I know she will have, but like me "strong headed" she won't. Like always when she gets hurt I will be there to pick her up, wipe away her tears and take on her pain as if it were my own! My baby is grown now and hopfully she will make the right choices and not follow in my shoes, see my life the way it was and want better for herself! I love you my baby girl! To my Friends and my heart Maddie. I love you all so much and hope that Christmas brings you and your families great health and true happiness! Forever, Daisy |