"One day in my sandals"

To start I don't want anyone thinking that I am complaining, or that I have it so bad because if anyone knows that there are many, many people out there that have it worse than I do, it is me!

If you don't laugh, you will cry....

I started my day off waking up from a really horrible nightmare, I was scared and couldn't think straight. I dreamt that DM was in an accident and didn't live through it this time, and that I was sitting down trying to explain to my son that his Daddy was in Heaven. I couldn't move out of fear that it was true this time, so I reached for my cell phone and called him on his; not knowing if he was home or not. When he picked up he sounded at first mad and I couldn't make a big deal about it because every time in the past when I tried to bring up his drinking and driving it turned into a fight. So I just said I was just wondering if you were home I had a bad dream and his reply was "Why don't you come upstairs" not "Are you ok" or "Tell me about it" He has known me for 9 years and knows I don't have nightmares and for me to call him which I never do in the morning you would think he would ask, but all he could think of was the piss hard on he had. I hung up and went and got my coffee.

Then after his shower he came down and started telling me what I needed to do today for him as far as the house, not asking me my plans and agenda. Ok, stop right there. I have 100 mini cupcakes to make and decorate for our sons Karate Halloween party tomorrow and I am not Betty Fucking Crocker (lmao), I need to do wash (Michaels uniform), run to the library, make dinner so Michael can eat before he goes to his lesson (an hour before so his belly doesn't get sick with the work out) , run to the craft store to find mini cupcake holders, Go to my PTA meeting at Michaels school, make a million phone calls regarding Tia, Go to the UPS store to mail a package, make the beds, clean the bird cage, etc etc, maybe eat myself some time today. And the list goes on. So he left.

I got a call last week from the class mother and she wanted to know if I wanted to come to the party, and we got talking. She asked me what I wanted to bring and I told her I would make cookies. She said can I talk to you about something and me being me said "Ofcourse!" she said that Michael and her sons teacher wants her to throw a party for the kids and that she wanted to know what I thought, so I let her talk (Yes, I listened...lol) She said that the teacher wanted her to get 25 kids in their costumes, eat treats brought in from the mothers/fathers, have an activity, and trick or treat around the class room. Sounds good..... She said that the teacher was giving her an hour to do this and asked me what I thought about musical chairs with a stuffed pumpkin. She said she never did anything like this before and just wanted to know what I thought about it. After she finished I asked her if she wanted me to sugar coat it for her or did she want the truth, and meeting her once before at the field trip and seeing for myself that she is a strong women she said "The truth" I also said "listen so and so I don't want to step on your toes" and she said "please I am asking you, I am not like that, you won't be stepping on my toes but helping me out here!" so I said number one there is no way in hell that you, yourself can get 25 kids in their costumes, that I have a hard time with one. That the musical chair thing is a great idea, but the chairs are in one huge square and that she would have to move the chairs in a circle and find a tape recorder because the teacher did not have one or either did she, have a party with cupcakes and cookies and have them trick or treat in ONE HOUR, impossible! I said listen I saw you in action when we were on the field trip and I have to say you do resemble wonder women and could possibly have her power too, but we all, including myself have rasised our children teaching them that they can not go to collegel to become a super hero, that she needed to forget the musical chair thing that it ws a great idea, but she had limited time and to have pin the triangle on the pumpkin (nose...lol) and place the missing eye ball on the mummy; make two lines and if she needed me to help I would take one half and her the other. Don't ask the teacher, but tell her that you needed more than an hour, that it will take itleast 1/2 hour to get these kids in their garb, hell with all the accessories these days you may need more time then that but she could work with it. Then the big question came, would you be my partner and ofcourse I said yes. She thanked me and said please don't think for a min that you stepped on my toes, I appreciate the help! She also told me that she didn't want to be class mom to begin with. I didn't tell her that they wanted me to be class mom in the beginning of school, but I just didn't have the time to devote and when I do something I put my all into it so I had to refuse this year, but will help anyone who asks me; I don't like throwing things in peoples faces.

Now comes the blow.... I get a call from another mother who says to me, hi Teri I can't tell you my name and you don't know who I am , but you had my son on the field trip and one of my friends was there and told me that you were wonderful and awesome with my son, thank you so much! I said no problem, very weary that someone could not tell me their name. But the class mom is really upset at you for telling her what to do with the party on the 31st , me and the other mothers know you are not like that and like you very much, but want you to know what's being said. I was blown away! Here I was trying to help and this class mom and I got along at the field trip even sat together and meant once before leaving school because our sons were talking, and she called me and this is what I get for being me...... I have to laugh. Now what do I do? I am fairly new here and everyone has money and is very clicky and now I have to worry about me being helpful taken as me wanting to hurt someone's feelings; how will this effect Michael?

Then I get a call from this agency and they tell me sorry but we can not help your daughter, after telling me that they were doing everything they could and not getting back to me and giving me hope. 3 weeks of them saying they are working on it not to worry, that they will help or find someone who will! Her father keeps calling me saying the same thing" when are you going to get HER out of here, you have a week!" If I here it again I am going to explode, and it takes me a lot.

I truly don't understand people these days! It makes me believe all the more that this world is coming to an end; Armageddon. The sadness, cruelty, the anger and pain. I can't even watch the news or read the newspaper because it hurts me too much! I have all the pain right here in my own home, and just can't take the worlds pain on too.

Then to top it off my sons teacher calls me at 11:36am and says Mrs. McCabe do you have a min, and I said yes, and she said did michael tell you about the incident yesterday and I said what incident? Michael came home very happy as usual. And she said "It's not a big deal and everything is fine now, I talked to both boys and they are fine." and I said could you please tell me what happened. She said that Michael went up to one of his friends that was out sick and high fived him and gave him a half a hug and a kiss on the side of the head, she thinks. and she stepped in and said that it was inappropriate. I was like your kidding me right. I totally understand the whole sexual hatassment thing and having your own space, but it was the way she said it. Michael has 4 friends that he has been friends with since pre-K and every time they see each other they embrace and tell each other that they missed one another. Just a couple weeks ago they were all at a Birthday party (Michaels best friend Lucas) and they all did that and us mothers and fathers were like "We love that they can express themselves and show they love each other!" all men should do that! Real men! I was so upset but didn't show it and asked her what she wanted me to do and if the bot felt uncomfortable about it and she said she didn't want me to do anything that she took care of it and the boy was fine with it. I said good and told her that I would not say anything to my son, that I love that he is like that and that the reason why I wouldn't say anything to him is because I don't want him to think that it is wrong to embrace your friends weather they are boys or girls, that my son has had many girlfriends and that it isn't an issue and won't be! When I got off the phone with her I called DM and ofcourse he thinks I should talk to Michael, what do I say? I don't want him to change and I can't hurt him like that! I can't stand to see my babies embarrassed it breaks my heart!

And I could go on with life one day in my sandals, but it would take me a week; just an idea.