| Good Morning. So many things are happening at once and I am trying my best to stay focused and not break down. My daughter's father called me last night and said that I have a week and a half to get her out of there. The things he says about her to me, kill me and I try and not let him show that I am upset in fear that whatever I say he will then take it out on her. I have people around me telling me when I do get Tia home that I should call child support and turn him in for working under the table, to turn everything off on a Sat so he can't watch his Sunday Football etc etc I don't have it in me to do these things, as mad as he makes me; and as hurt as I am I can't be someone I am not. I am bigger than that. All I wanted was for him to love her as I do, for them to have a relationship; I spent thousands of dollars just getting her into a nice apartment, turning on all the utilities, furnishing it, cleaned every inch for a week and continue to pay half the rent even thou he has his friend living there. I broke down because he said she is really sick and that I should put her in a hospital and go on with my life. I told him that I am a mother and she is my baby, that I will never give up on her or pretend she is not there. I did it myself for 181/2 years and if I have to live on the street with her because she is not allowed here in this house that I will do it. He has four kids from four different mothers and I told him that when he is old and can't take care of himself that I know on everything I love that Tia would have been there to care for him, that it was too bad that he didn't love her, because she is a good kid; she didn't ask to be born, nor did she ask for the Doctors and Hospital to hurt her! Is is cruel and heartless, but I am not the one to make him pay for his abuse and mistakes; his day will come and God will make sure that justice is served. Should I just take Tia and her clothes and give the beds to "The house of concern" or let him and his friends continue to sleep in them? Do I take the kitchen table and chairs or give it to someone who will appreciate it and needs it? These are material things, but they would not be there along with many, many other things if it were not for Tia and I. I have less then two weeks and I feel like I am going to fall apart. I just want my Tia safe and near me. I now have to live with the guilt that I put he through this! How can one not love a child that is apart of them? My heart hurts today. I love you my Tia and will never leave your side or give up on you, you are my baby and although you will not live with me, you will live in my heart and physically near me. Everything will be ok, Mommy promises you! I love you around the world and back again! |