Good Morning! It is raining here in New York, another grey day. I never realized how the weather plays on your mood. When you think about it, what makes the flowers grow, sun. I am a person who needs sun, it changes everything, you want to wake up earlier and it motivates you like nothing else I know. I think I should move to Florida, not only for the sun; but to be with my best friend whom I miss so very much, my Mom! I get so lonely here, no one to talk to, to share my thoughts, feelings and dreams. I have people around me, but they see right through me, I know they aren't really listening (besides my beautiful son Michael) I walk through the house and pass people and it feels like I am invisable. It hurts so much because I have so many things I want to say, things that are important, that I am excited about; but there is no one to listen. I got back together with my ex-husband 2 years ago and I truly thought things would be different, but they are still the same. I have known him for almost 9 years and he doesn't even know me or care too. If he would just listen once he would understand me, but he never has the time. I will try and engage in a conversation with him and I get as far as to same his name and he looks at me and says "what!" and the look on his face scares me, so I always say "Nothing, it wasn't important." He knows nothing about me, or my past and doesn't care to, as long as our son is well taken care of and the meals are made and house clean that is all he wants to know. I will clean all day from 5am to 10pm, never sitting down for a min and he will come home and pick the one thing I didn't do out. I make these great meals and EVERY TIME he has something to say about it. To sum it up I can't say or do anything right in his eyes. If I told you what I do in a day, your head would spin. Just an example on how good I am to my family, when I wash clothes my sons clothes get folded first because he has to go to school, then comes DM's (I even fold his underwear) then mine. I am the only one who walks around with wrinkles. I lay his clothes out every nt for work, I won't eat things in the house that I know he likes, even though I like them too. I could go on, but I don't want to bore anyone; if anyone is reading this. I live and breath for my family and never, ever go out with the few friends I have in this area, unless it is with his family food shopping. I encourage him to go do things with his friends and he does. I love being with my family, I am content! All I need is to be respected, I have given up long ago on love and romance; but I can't seem to even get that! I have no more tears in me, I am empty. Be safe and happy. Daisy
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